Hang Yourself Punk

by Leslie Bull (more...)
Posted on September 16, 2003

I want to write down the stuff my son Tmac told me today. He is in the I.M.U., otherwise known as the hole. I.M.U. cells are tiny, filthy, closet-like, cement rooms covered in anti-Semitic graffiti and topped by a light that never goes out (the prison authorities know this prevents inmates from achieving r.e.m. sleep and drives them crazy).

Tmac's brother Magnus was in the hole once for months, and later, his eyes held a trapped look I had never seen before. He told me about his friends who have been in the hole for years. Afterwards, they flinch and twitch a lot, forever psychologically altered. That happened to me on the street, but not like the hole.

Tmac is sentenced to fifteen days for supposedly refusing a u.a. It was a set up to punish him for cussing out the cops on the Fourth of July. On the Fourth the inmates are allowed to celebrate, stay up late, go out to the big yard, and have treats. During the party a verbal altercation broke out between some fellas and some rapos. Apparently, a rapo even went as far as to say he was gonna rape one of the fella's mama, and all hell broke loose. Fortunately, for the rapos, a chain link fence separated them from the fellas, and so the entire incident amounted to the shouting of obscenities and name calling on both sides. Today, when I asked Tmac if he had threatened any of the rapos his voice got low, "Believe me Mom, I'm not that stupid."

Soon the police caught a whiff of the proceedings, and for no discernible reason, singled Tmac out, and took him to the hole. "You know Mom," he told me philosophically, "anytime I'm for sure going to the hole is a good time to cuss out the police. I mean I'm going to the hole anyway, so I might as well get some aggression out and do some cussing." That was a few weeks ago and we didn't know what would happen, but surprisingly, after twelve days of silence, they let him out with no infraction. They said there was no proof Tmac had broken any rule (not that they ever need any proof! They can close you out and give you a two-year program in the hole on the suspicion of a suspicion).

Seemingly, things were over, yet with the D.O.C., things are rarely what they seem.

The next couple weeks were per normal. I had a one day trailer with Tmac, and afterwards, he had his customary, post-trailer u.a., then, a few days later the cops pulled him up for another u.a., a random, (something they will sometimes do a few days after a trailer--or anytime) so Tmac gave them a sample, and then went out to play basketball. An hour later the cops came back, pulled Tmac off the court, and told him his sample wasn't the right temperature, and that they had reason to believe he had tampered with it. They demanded another sample. Tmac was bone dry.

It was a classic set up.

First, the accusation that Tmac tampered with the sample is absurd. Inmates are closely monitored while giving samples, as in pissing buck naked in front of the cops, Second, the cops refused to give Tmac any more than the required eight ounces of water to drink, even though he had just given a sample not an hour before, and had been sweating on the basketball court ever since. And third, it is almost the exact same set up they used on Magnus to close him out of Stafford Creek and send him to Walla Walla.

The thing about I.M.U. sentences is they are held in kangaroo courts, where the same sergeant who wrote your infraction is often the one who judges your case, and also decides your appeal. The hearings are a joke. The cops are held to no real rules or standards, and always have a way around any that do exist. After his "refusal" to give a u.a., Tmac was placed back in the I.M.U.

The last time he was in the hole, over the fourth , Tmac was, coincidentally, in at the same time as a close friend named Funk who had got in a fight with an inmate ref on the basketball court. The ref called Funk's mama all kinds of bitches and it was on. "He had no choice but to fight, mom," Tmac assured me, "or be branded a punk forever". Last time Tmac and Funk played chess on paper, calling the moves out to one another through the cell bars, and keeping each other's spirits up. Then, after Tmac went back to mainline, Funk was kited out of McNeil and shipped to Stafford Creek..

This time Tmac isn't cool with any of his fellow I.M.U. inmates.

"They're a horrible bunch, mom," he told me today, "mostly just in off the streets for violating release, all they do is shout at each other all day long talking bout, 'I wonder if I'm gonna get ninety days?' That shit is hard to take to when you're doing ten years." At Tmac's hearing he was sentenced to fifteen days for his supposed infraction, a major, but more importantly (to the set up) is the fact that he has lost ten custody points, which means that one more major infraction (which the guards can set up at their leisure) and he will lose his minimum custody and get shipped out (knock on wood).

Getting shipped out means a worse institution.

Tmac is at Mcneil, the "best" minimum facility in Washington, and while that isn't saying much, Mcneil is located in an urban area, does allow plenty of exercise, and best of all, provides Tmac regular trailers with me and other family members. Getting shipped out means going to Stafford Creek, the dreaded new prison with the power crazy guards and endless-drama-causing no smoking policy, or worse, Walla Walla closed, where you never see the sky.

In the hole Tmac is escorted from his cell in handcuffs for one hour three times a week, during which he must shower, exercise, and use the phone. The rest of the time he stares at four grimy, shit streaked walls, smelling himself. "I just wish they would give me my deodorant, Mom," he bemoaned through the receiver today, "And they don't give us much to eat in here either. I think I'm losing like a pound a day, and the two books a week they give us are so bad I can't even read them. They are that bad."

"Shit baby, I'm sorry."

"The other thing that really sucks is the light," he continued, "it never goes off, so I sleep with my towel wrapped around my head, but it doesn't always work, between that and lack of exercise, I sleep less and less. Besides, the noise is unreal. This time the guys in here are just really extra twisted, and they shout into each other's cells continuously. I mean it never fails that a bunch of guys will gang up on one or two guys in here, but this time it is worse than ever. Almost every cell has ganged up on one guy, this real young red-headed kid who obviously has some severe problems. They get him talking and arguing, get him mad, and then jump on him, putting him down, calling him all kinds of names, and trying to get him to hang himself.

"They keep yelling, 'Kill yourself worthless punk, you need to die!' and telling him how to hang himself from the empty metal t.v. stand in his cell. It just goes on and on, and is really hard to block out. "You know, if the guy's cell was closer to mine I would tell him to just stop answering and they will eventually get tired and give up, but he just can't handle it, allows himself to get drawn in over and over. Half the time he ends up crying and promising to kill himself.

"It's just really sad, Mom, just really fucked up, and really sad."

Glossary

I.M.U. Intensive Management Unit aka the hole.

R.e.m. rapid eye movement (a physical and psychological necessity for proper sleep).

Big yard outside recreation area provided to the prisoners for exercise, often the sight of riots or other disturbances.

U.a. urine analysis aka drug test.

Fella a white inmate with a "stand up" or "regular" crime aka nothing "funny", like rape, "snitching" (testifying for the state), child molesting, killing your girlfriend, beating your kid to death, etc.

Rapo a sex offender, rapist, mo-mo (molester), stalker, serial killer, and the like ,the lowest, most despised rung on the inmate hierarchy. Due to lawsuits and the fact that the majority of rapos at mcneil are white, middle-class males, they are given the most favourable treatment by the authorities within the prison system, which only adds to the hostility the fellas feel towards them.

Closed out the process by which the prison authorities change an inmate's custody level to closed custody with or without any proof of wrong doing, the result is being shipped out to a hard core facility.

Program "sentence" in the hole, can be issued for up to six years or more in length.

D.O.C. Department of Corrections.

Trailer short for trailer visit whereby certain blood or legally married family members are allowed to visit an inmate in a trailer on the prison grounds, bringing food to cook, and spending the night. At Mcneil Tmac gets one every six to eight weeks.

Punk an inmate with a low status, but not necessarily a sex offender. someone without a clean "jacket" (record of behavior in the "joint" aka prison) in relation to things like being a "rat" (snitch), or backing down from a physical challenge. a punk may be forced to do chores, (like laundry), give up sex, or pay "rent" (protection money) to other inmates.

Mainline the movement of the main prison population, for example to chow hall (cafeteria), yard, work, gym, etc.

Kited out the process by which a rat shoots a "kite" (a written communication between an inmate and the prison authorities) saying they are in fear of another inmate and asking for that inmate be moved to another institution.

Custody an inmate's custody level is decided by his custody points, a system whereby inmates start with a certain amount of points and can lose some for any infraction of the vast and arbitrary prison rules. In theory, if you stay infraction free for a period of time you can move "up" custody levels from closed to medium and then minimum, and the difference in the levels is the difference between better libraries and better visiting conditions, to extremely different levels of danger and stress. an inmate can "drop" custody levels anytime, but the fastest he can move "up" is once a year, the slowest being forever. The prison authorities can (and do!) "override" the point system anytime they like, closing people out, moving them away from their families, and placing them in heightened danger.